One of the ways I am successful at counseling teens is through the effort I put in to get to know them in their world. I have had numerous clients talk about John Green’s book, The Fault In Our Stars. I began to see a bandwagon of teenage girls going by and I had to jump on.
I chose to read the book for several reasons. First of all, I love a good book; however, that wasn’t the driving force. What made me pick up the book was the connection I would instantly have to my clients. In order to help them, I need to understand what their world is like. Soon, the countdown began for the big release of the movie.
I wanted to see the movie as soon as it premiered so I could be on the same page as my clients and to be able to readily welcome their reviews of their movie-going experience. I finally got the chance to see it this past weekend. Wow. Everything about the movie was intense. Despite reading the book ahead of time and knowing the outcome, I still found myself caught up in the emotions the actors portrayed while wiping the tears from my eyes. I began to wonder if the movie was too intense for teen girls. I know it was just a movie, but it touched on some significant points and several questions you should think about.
- The movie was a love story. What girl doesn’t want to live the life of a love story? Have you talked to your daughter about dating and relationships? Do you know what kind of standards your daughter has set for herself in regards to how she should be treated? Are you setting an example for her?
- Dealing with cancer and death, specifically with a teen is some pretty intense stuff. Has your teen experienced any kind of trauma or loss that this movie could bring forward? Would you know what to do if the answer is yes?
- Do you have a relationship with your teen where he/she feels comfortable talking about difficult topics with you? If your teen isn’t comfortable talking to you, do they have someone they can talk to?
- Having a positive relationship with your teen is about speaking their language, or at least, understanding it.
If you find yourself struggling with any of these questions or you just want to improve the connection you have with your teen, call me to set up an appointment.
I know I’ve impressed my clients by participating in the things they are interested in. If you, their parent, take the same initiative, you could move mountains!